Tuesday, September 19, 2006

New Guidelines for Sex Development Disorders - Parody

Sci-Fi by Curtis E. Hinkle

Release Date: Sept. 19, 2006
Planet Normalis Hermaphroditus

One particular planet in our galaxy has been plagued recently by more and more births of children who differentiate sexually into extreme male or female and this has caused the doctors and parents who are all hermaphrodites to study the underlying causes of this abnormality within their population. As a result, the doctors and parents have just announced the publication of new guidelines for the management of children born with disorders of sex differentiation, also known as DSD’s. The goal of the Consortium, a group of hermaphrodite doctors who wish to help male and female children by making them appear hermaphroditic, is to normalize these children so as to help both their parents who are hermaphrodites and the children themselves by making it possible for them to fit into a unisex society.

Sept. 19, 2006 — A consensus statement published in the September issue of the Archives of Disorders of early Childhood reviews the management of sex differentiation disorders in children.

"The birth of a child that is not a hermaphrodite prompts a long term management strategy that involves a myriad of professionals working with the family," writes Ian A. Phooey, MD, and colleagues from the Consensus Group from the Department of Pediatrics, University of Juno, Confederation Galactica.

"The initial contact with the parents of a child with a DSD is important, as first impressions from these encounters often persist," the panel writes. "A key point to emphasize is that the DSD child has the potential to become a well adjusted, functional member of society and pseudo-hermaphrodite who for all intents and purposes will be visibly indistinguishable from a true hermaphrodite."

Clinical evaluation should include family and prenatal history, general physical examination to detect any associated dysmorphic features, and assessment of the genital anatomy in comparison with published norms typical for hermaphrodites. Features suggesting DSD include overt genital absence of a phalloclit or a vaginal opening, a phalloclit that is too long or too short and gonads which are not mixed. The underlying causes could be a result of insensitivity to estrotestrogen and/or a lack of an extra X chromosome, making them XX or XY instead of XXY.

They have come to the following conclusions:

- All children must be legally hermaphrodites and be normalized to look like hermaphrodites.

- All phalloclits which are more than one inch long will be surgically corrected to appear normal.

- All phalloclits that are shorter than 2 centimeters will be hormonally corrected by testosterone injections.

- Any child born without a vaginal opening will be surgically corrected.

- In the end, all children will have phalloclits and vaginas and will be ready to participate in a unisex society.

The treatments to maintain health and normalization will need to be life long and any identities that do not conform to intergender (or hermaphroditic identity development) will be treated as a gender identity disorder and a specialist will help the children and adults develop a healthy hermaphroditic gender identity (intergender) so as to avoid extreme male and female identities which are bipolar disorder deviations.

The local Male and Female Human Rights Association on the planet heralded this as an advance in health care for all children who were born with a male or female sex differentiation disorder. Some splinter groups of males and females who actually are much bigger than the MFHRA are declaring this to be a violation of their human rights and demand to be accepted as the males and females they are.

The doctors and parents laughed at such a silly notion. The very idea - to let THOSE people have a say in our planetary affairs.

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